For My Husband

As we swayed back and forth in the living room to the familiar (yet almost forgotten) tune, I was transported back to our wedding reception.

I remember the refreshingly non-stuffy, non-pretentious feeling of our American Legion Hall reception. My dress was exactly what I wanted- strapless with an empire waist. An A-line dress that was easy to pee while wearing. What? You have to take that into consideration. You wear the dress for like 10 hours and you drink during that time. You looked gorgeous in your FuBu tux. Surrounded by family and friends, we began our first dance.

There’s a place in my heart that is only for you.

Where the warmth of your touch is what sees me through.

We were two kids who didn’t know shit.

We loved each other with all we had. But we didn’t have all that much. I remember dancing with you, wishing to feel the love I could see in some people’s photos. I knew I loved you, but I knew I could love you so much more.

Tonight, as we danced in the living room in our pajamas, I felt the so much more.

I looked thinner and more well rested on our wedding day. Your hair was a lot darker, and a lot thicker. Relax, Luis, it’s still thick. Even if you are going bald, you still have a long way to go.

Some people vow to always love each other as much as they do when they get married. And maybe that’s good for them. Maybe their wedding day is when they were most in love.

That wasn’t the case for us. Our capacity to love one another has grown over the years. We have hurt each other. We have taken care of each other through surgeries or injuries. We have raised babies together and survived what can only be described as torturous levels of sleep deprivation. I love you more because everything we have endured has increased my capacity to love. You taught me what it feels like to forgive and be forgiven. You took care of our entire family when I had a broken leg. You have been a puke catcher more times than I can count. You taught me the true meaning of loving and being loved.

You are my reason to breathe.
My reason to keep on believing.
No one can come between you and me.
I will never look away.
You will always be all that I see.

Always.

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