I’m no one to say Teddy Roosevelt was wrong when he famously declared “Comparison is the thief of joy” But he at least wasn’t completely right.
Fear is the thief of joy.
Fear, not comparison, is joy’s true arch nemesis. Where there is fear, joy ducks and runs. Fear says you can’t enjoy it because it won’t last.
The truth is, nothing lasts. Not joy. Not pain. Not sunshine or rain.
It all goes away in the blink of an eye. That thought alone causes my heart to ache.
I’ve spent so much time running away from joy for fear of it leaving me. And it left me anyway.
Embrace the joy. Because she doesn’t last either way.
You cannot fully enjoy something you fear losing. I struggle to enjoy my kids. I want to teach them things and give them guidance on life, love and happiness, but I can’t seem to let go of all that long enough to play ball with them. Thank God for my husband. He is so good at play.
Losing my kids is my biggest fear.
Fear is stealing the joy that comes with freely playing with my children. Don’t get me wrong, I experience it on occasion, but not enough.
This is changing in me, actively. I’m not here telling you to lean in to the joy that surrounds you, no matter how much it scares you because I have it all figured out. I’m here to tell you to do it because I am just now starting to do it, and it has made such an impact on me already.
I’m not so far ahead of you that I cannot explain the path. I am literally walking you through, like the guide on a hike. “And this here, ma’am, this section of thorny plants over here is where we realize that fearing loss, fearing rejection, fearing anything at all is robbing you from the ability to enjoy it.”
My husband, the amazing guy I mentioned above, loves plane takeoffs. I loathe them. That’s where I’m at peak anxiety. In my mind, if the plane is going down, it’s going to happen as we pull off the runway. What? Don’t act like you don’t have your own version of this.
My husband though, he finds takeoffs exciting.
It wasn’t until I flew with my entire family that I could enjoy a takeoff. My rationale: if the plane goes down, at least we’ll be together. Morbid, but it works.
And you know what, I enjoyed that takeoff.
Trust me. Don’t just hear my words and shake them off like a Taylor Swift song, believe them. Believe me. Heed the words of this average mom- one without a ton of privileges, without a fancy education, without any of the things the world tells you that you need in order to be taken seriously…
Fear is robbing you of the joy you deserve.
Fear of failure is preventing you from experiencing the joy that comes with simply trying to reach your goals. You might not. The truth is, you may never reach your goals. But reaching for your own goals feels better than achieving someone else’s goal.
Reach. For. Your. Goals. Keyword: your
My goals are not your goals. Your goals are not mine. What society says you have to be is not necessarily true. You don’t have to have mainstream success or a bigger house or more of anything. Your dreams and goals should be yours alone. And though it may not feel like it, you have permission to do all that you can to chase them. Even if you’re afraid.
Fear has kept me from releasing a book for months. I say it’s lack of money. I say it’s lack of time. The truth is, well, it is a little bit of both of those and a whole lot of fear.
I’m getting passed the fear… don’t get me wrong, it’s still very much with me, but I’m the one in the driver’s seat now. Fear will be along for the ride, but we’re going where I want to go.
I want to encourage you to push fear out of the way and take the wheel of your life.